Catharsis – Part 5 – Lesson on the ‘Self’

The next morning after the breakfast, Reema joins Mohan in the room for the healing session. Mohan sat on a chair next to the study table in the room. Reema occupied the opposite chair, still feeling nervous about what is going to happen in the healing session. Sheena and Ashish, along with the kids, decided to leave Reema and Mohan undisturbed in the room.

Mohan to Reema (sensing her nervousness): May I ask you to elaborate in as much detail as possible how you feel in this moment?

Reema: Mohan, I am feeling extremely uncomfortable, almost like running away from this room. I am feeling some kind of nausea since morning. I was even not feeling like getting up this morning and I got up almost against my will. I am unable to express in words how I am feeling, as if I must vanish from here.

Mohan: Okay. Please feel comfortable now. This session is just an opportunity for you to know yourself better.

Reema: Sure Mohan. Please tell me what I need to do?

Mohan pointing to a notepad and pen lying on the table: Please take the notepad and pen, and write in detail about your concern that you want to be healed. Please write every detail of what all you feel about it. What emotions it triggers in you? When you feel most affected by this concern and write about any other detail that comes to your mind about it.

As Reema spent next 10-15 minutes thinking about her concern and writing about it, she noticed that Mohan was sitting relaxed on his chair with eyes closed, lost in some sort of a meditation. After spending another 5 minutes writing about the concern, Reema has a contented look on her face.

Mohan asked without even looking at the notepad to read what Reema had written: Do you feel relatively comfortable now after writing down about your concern?

Reema: In fact yes. I am feeling better. I can still feel some kind of heaviness in head, but not feeling like running away.

Mohan: Good! Let me now read what you have written about your concern.

Mohan started reading the write-up mentally with deep attention. His eyes narrowing as if to weigh the emotions in each word he is reading.

I feel sudden and extreme fear as soon as I see any door or window of the house open. I just can not stand a moment with any door or window of the house open. Forget about being open, even if a window is closed but uncovered an inch by the curtains, I am unable to stop myself from covering it completely. I am often criticized directly and indirectly about my this habit by my family members and relatives, who think that I am crazy or insane to live in such a closed lifestyle, but they just can not understand my concern. Even Ashish is unable to understand this, despite my trying to explain this to him several times in our past seven years of marriage. This triggers a sense of being worthless and a deep inferiority complex in me and it makes me feel less. I feel less confident in my relationships and in my social interactions.

After spending few minutes reading it with utmost attention, Mohan picked up another notepad and pen lying on the table and started scribbling something, hiding it from Reema’s gaze. Mohan spent next 10 minutes writing this something secretive, almost as if he is formulating some abstruse formulas.

As Mohan continued writing, Reema’s hand reached out to the bottle of water and glass kept by Mohan on the table. Reema filled the glass half and gulped the water, less to quench her thirst but more to calm her nerves.

With a contented expression on the face, Mohan kept aside his notepad, and pen and reached to hold Reema’s hand. With eyes closed in some sort of contemplation, still holding Reema’s hand gently, Mohan sat for next few minutes. In a few seconds, Reema started feeling some gentle tingling sensations at the center of her head, as if her hair were blowing gently by a waft of air.

Mohan continued sitting closed eyed, holding Reema’s hand for another 10 minutes or so. During this while Reema’s noticed his facial expressions changing as if he was trying to see something or ask something to someone.

After this, he opened his eyes, left Reema’s hand and started scribbling again in his notepad as if he was trying to pen down everything without forgetting any details, again trying to hide stuff from Reema’s curious gaze. Reema now realized some strong sensations at the middle of her palm, where Mohan had held her hand for all this while.

Mohan: Since how long you recall having this concern?

Reema: Since as long as I can recall., may be since my childhood.

Mohan again started scribbling something and again reached out to hold her hand at the center of her palm. Reema could again sense a current of sensations running through her arm originating from the point where Mohan had held her palm.

It had been more than 40-45 minutes since Mohan had been taking rounds between scribbling something crazily and holding Reema’s hand with his own eyes closed. Reema’s curiosity was now touching its peak.

Mohan: Do you often get yourself hurt or injured on the feet?

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(Pic by Tilting Tripod https://www.facebook.com/tiltingtripod/?epa=SEARCH_BOX)

Reema’s curiosity instantly gave way to a sense of surprise. She stared at Mohan’s face without uttering a word. The geekish looking, utterly simplistic person was sitting across the table to her, with his eyes still closed and blank expressions on his face.

Mohan suddenly opened his eyes to check why he did not receive any answer to his query yet and saw Reema trying to say something.

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