Subtle Matters – Inevitable distortions

Mohan decided to give himself more time to recover from his failures in his attempts towards devotion. His attempts towards controlling his mind were going in vain repeatedly. Meanwhile, he continued to do well in his studies and compliments and praises continued to come his way from his teachers and relatives. His parents continued to be proud of their kids, whom they thought to be a marvellous kid.
After pondering for few days, Mohan came to the conclusion that perhaps his mind was still not ready to be dedicated in the devotion of the mother and Shiva. He must dedicate his devotion to some others deity, meditating on whom would not lead his mind to ever think about gender or any sexual ideas. After some thinking, he decided Lord Hanuman, the monkey God, to be the one whom he should worship. Lord Hanuman represents the energy of devotion and service towards thes Master through all physical, mental and emotional prowess.
Having failed in the devotion of the mother and Shiva twice, Mohan did not want to take any chances this time. He decided to first read extensively about Lord Hanuman so that he is aware of His stature and his achievements. He wanted to be aware of what Lord Hanuman stands for. This will help him be dedicated in the devotion. With this thinking, he started reading religious scriptures dedicated to Lord Hanuman and Lord Rama (the master of Lord Hanuman).
He read how the Lord helped His devotees in their hardships, as per the mythology. When Sugreeva, the monkey king, was hiding in the hills from his older brother, Bali, Hanuman helped him befriend Rama. Rama killed Bali to save Sugreeva and have the kingdom to Sugreeva. In return, Sugreeva was to help Rama in search for Sita, Rama’s wife. However, Sugreeva, after finding his long lost kingdom, forgot about his service to Rama. Then Hanuman again reminded him of his services and thus saved him from Rama’s ire. This was Mohan found that Lord Hanuman ensures bringing back his devotees to the rightful path.
Mohan then read about the story that Lord Hanuman, in search for Sita, jumped across the ocean to Lanka and executed intelligence to find the whereabouts of Sita inside the kingdom of Ravana. The whole episode tought Mohan about the Lord’s message about the service attitude towards ones Master and a single minded focus to the task at hand.
Mohan also read about the Lord’s significant contribution in the battle between Rama and Ravana, and how he demolished the opponents by the sheer force of his power. All this reading made him understand how complete the being Lord Hanuman is.
Filled with the feeling of devotion towards the Lord, Mohan started offering prayers to the monkey God regularly. He was still reverent towards the mother Goddess and Shiva, but, by now, he had understood that the path for him was to worship and meditate on Lord Hanuman. Unlike his attempts to meditate on the mother’s statue, this time Mohan was able to easily meditate on the statue of Lord Hanuman. He was gradually developing various emotions towards the deity: that of Guru (the teacher), that of a friend, that of Guardian, that of companion and do on. As the time past, Moham realized that he was progressing on his devotion towards the Lord spontaneously and naturally.

As Mohan was growing up, he was becoming increasingly inclined towards such self-correcting reflections for how’s own life. He would start thinking of any random event during the day and would keep thinking about the reasons for that particular experience being pleasant or otherwise; and how he could have done better in that situation.
While this habit was helping him improve himself in terms of his interactions with people older than his age, he was increasingly becoming reliant on God’s help (as he thought) for things beyond his control. Once he went to play cricket with his friends in a small ground near his home. When it was his turn to bat, he got out on the first ball. It continued to happen for a series of 3-4 games continuously. As his habit was, Mohan kept thinking about it even after returning home. In a few days, he found himself mentally reciting some sort of small prayer when he was to face any ball while batting. As an effect, he thought that his frequency of getting out at a zero score had come down. After few more day, he was scoring bigger totals. However. by now his friends were talking among themselves that Mohan chanted some Mantra while playing. As a result, he always got the perception of being a weak player despite scoring well in some games.
Superstitions in the game are nowhere uncommon. Mohan saw some of the reputed good players in his team tying right shoe first, announcing that if they tied the left one first, they got out at a duck. Nobody ever cared about their superstition, but in Mohan’s case as he was doing something secretively people never accepted him. Eventually, such events made Mohan never take any sport seriously.
Over the years he found himself increasingly superstitious about every small thing. He had somehow picked the habit of repeating himself twice mentally, as he believed he won’t make an impact otherwise. He also thought that he must genuflect multiple times in front of the idol of the God, else he stood chance of annoying The God and so on.
His superstitious acts were not going unnoticed by his family members, friends and relatives. At first, his older brother, Dipansh, found it a good opportunity to show him down in front of everyone who thought Mohan was superior than him. Dipansh would catch Mohan doing some superstitious thing and announce to everyone present there to ridicule Mohan. Mohan felt humiliated by these incidents and this creates further gap between the two brothers. Mohan also had to face similar ridicule from his friends and relatives, whoever found out about his superstitions. However, this ridicule made Mohan rethink and boldly question his superstitions.

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