Subtle Matters – Taking charge of life

Mohan had to now shift from his town school to a college in a bigger city. When he visited the college on the first time for submission of his application form, he was just awestruck after looking at the vibrant and appealing crowd. Unlike his school, he found the girls here just too hot for him. He realized that day, that he had developed quite a roving eye. After submitting the application form, Mohan returned home and was too excited to join the college to pursue his studies and “other interests”. However, at the same time, Mohan was feeling nervous and was wondering if he would be accepted as a colleague by such high class, urban students.

In a few days, his admission got confirmed and he started attending the college. As expected, his roving eye got a lot to attend to, and so increased his desire to make friends. However, as Mohan anticipated earlier, his self-confidence had left him miles away. He felt as if he was a country lad among the rich, high-class, super-intelligent and urban youth and he was just no match for them. He felt being unable to connect with them in terms of sense of humor, interests, spending capacity and so on. He tried various means to gain attention, like cracking random jokes on other colleagues, playing pranks on teachers, trying to show off his intelligence and so on. But, he always remained wanting to gain attention and be accepted. He was able to make some friends, mainly with boys coming from other nearby rural or semi-rural areas, like himself.

His already week self-confidence was close to a collapse. He had started just hiding himself among the crowd of students in the college. At times, he would reminisce that he was considered a brilliant student in his school and all the students used to like him, in a complete contrast to the situation at the college. He was not enjoying this part of his life and he was just unable to focus on his studies. As soon as he would attempt to focus on his studies, his mind would get distracted by thoughts of any hot movie, or a girl in the college or in neighborhood.

Perturbed by this situation, one evening he was sitting for his prayers, eyes closed. He was in deep thinking about his situation and what he could do to improve the situation. He realized that the need of the hour for him was to discipline his life. He had to focus on his studies, when he was studying, ensuring that no distractions overpower him that time. He thought that once he does well on his studies, rest of things will start falling in place on its own. In a matter of few minutes, the thoughts took the form of his decision and his plan.

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