Subtle Matters – The Dichotomy of Life

As soon as Mohan felt at ease about his responsibilities in life, he had stared being tormented by these demons well-known to him by now. While conducting business at his workplace and during lunch or in any other setting, Mohan again noticed himself looking out for people of opposite sex and staring them. This time the situation was even worse than before in the sense that his target set had swelled in terms of age, marital status etc. He was not so much distinguishing between unmarried girls, married ladies, women with children; as long as the lady looked attractive, he found himself staring at her. No matter how he wanted to control his urge to visually chase the ladies, his ability to control his gaze was dwindling with time as it had become almost compulsive for him to stare. He was not at all happy with what kind of a person he was turning out to be. Consciously, he was aware that he must not indulge in such visual retreat with live people, but as soon as the opportunity presented itself, he just had to give in to his desire. What perturbed him even more that this all was happening to him despite of the fact that he was making steady progress in his meditation practices.

By now, he had been practicing meditation regularly for over three years. He supplemented his meditation practice by learning new techniques through his hobby of reading books and watching videos online. He had over the period picked numerous meditation techniques and had been using those techniques effectively in overcoming some of his health issues. Through these practices, he had turned his life almost completely free from any medication because he was no more troubled by common ailments such as cold, flu, cough, indigestion, fever, etc in any part of the year or during the season change.


He was witnessing several changes in himself since he started practicing meditation regularly. These changes included positive improvement in his temperament, increased patience level, ability to handle stress, effectively overcoming his insomniac tendencies, and so on. One evening, after his regular practice for over two years or so, he was sitting alone at the sofa in the drawing room of his home. He was sipping hot tea served by his wife, when he realized some tingling sensations in his palms. He felt the sensations for few minutes, then without thinking much about it, shifted his mind to other activities ignoring the sensations. The next evening when returning from work, he was sitting at the back seat of the Uber he hired, and again he felt the same sensations again at the same spot in the palms. He felt and recognized the sensations and then after a moment, again got engaged in other activities. When it happened the third day in a row, he got to know that he should not ignore it any more. He began talking about it with some likeminded people and got to know about Reiki, the energy healing modality wherein a healer is able to direct the flow of cosmic energy through his/ her palms. He gathered lot of material on Reiki over the Internet, books and read extensively to know about it. The more he read, the more he got to believe that the sensations he was feeling in his palms was nothing but Reiki. He soon learnt practical aspects of Reiki and started Reiki healing practitioner as a hobby or upon request. Some of the people whom he conducted healing for, benefitted immensely and started regarding him as a highly spiritual person. It did not take very long when many people in Mohan’s social circle know about his abilities to heal people through Reiki. He, though, did not discuss much about his healing abilities at his office.


While concerned about his almost compulsive habit of staring at women, Mohan sat at his sofa thinking about the dichotomy of the life. On one hand, so many people thought so highly about him being a spiritual person/ a healer, on the other hand, he has grown to have limited control on his gaze. He was wondering if there was a way out. If yes, where? How easy or difficult? Permanent or temporary?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s