Mohan went about his life normally after his experiment of healing with the universal energy. Over a period of next few months, he started noticing his interactions with his father getting easier. There was an increasing level of bonhomie between him and his father as if either he himself or his father would somehow ensure that there were no confrontations. He felt a subtle change in his own attitude, which would make him avoid saying anything which could instigate his father to resist him. Even he also felt that his father had become much more accepting towards Mohan’s decisions, or had started expressing his intention of non-interference. Mohan was not sure if he could attribute this change to the healing or it was just a normal turn of events, which should have anyways happened with time.
(pic from Tilting Tripod)
Despite the doubts, Mohan still had an un-ignorable feeling that the healing had something to do with his change in experience with his father. And, if that was true, could he utilize the universal energy healing for his issue of his compulsive staring at women? Mohan felt an urge to experiment this because he was desperately looking for a solution to this problem. He knew that he had started getting a certain type of reputation for himself among certain group of ladies in his office. Though, he was aware that most people in his office still thought that Mohan was a focused and diligent professional, with no specific interest in flirting with women. He wanted to do away with this habit before it could spoil his professional reputation and may be his career. Even more than that, he himself did not like the image of him stealing a stare at specific body parts of women whenever it presented a chance.
He sat for the healing wondering what he would be revealed of himself during the healing of such a sensitive issue. He took a pen and a diary, and started writing out his problem in detail. During the rigorous writing for next 20 minutes or so, he felt as if he was putting down a long carried burden off his shoulders. He wrote without even pausing to think for a minute as if this writing was long overdue. He felt some level of contentment once he was through writing. Next, he started reading his own writing and realized that his compulsive urge to stare at women perhaps was an expression of his urge for “completion” through the opposite gender or through the feminine energy.
He had read in his regular reading of spiritual books that each one of us has both masculine energy and feminine energy, trying to find a balance. Feminine energy also represents form, which could represent anything artistic in nature; and masculine energy represents the formless, or abstract. Apparently, he might have associated himself only with masculine energy, and wanted to seek his completion through the feminine energy. So, he must try to find when he started associating himself with the masculine energy alone, forgetting about his own feminine energy.
He sat for meditation and once settled, connected with the universal energy. He asked to be revealed when he first developed his association with masculine energy alone, estranging the feminine energy. He again felt the now-known shiver and was guided to his answer.