There is a saying that the only constant thing in life is CHANGE. Change of place, friends, employer, boss, situation, health, wellbeing and so on and so forth. We might consciously know that we can not control many of these changes. Still, we often have a natural tendency of resisting changes, which is caused by our deep-rooted fear for Change. More often that not, even despite our resistance to change, we are unable to avert the change from taking place and often in the retrospect, we find that the change was actually good for us. However, that resistance makes our experience of the change a misery.
Mr. A was working with a multi-national consulting firm and was leading a large team. He had built the team from 5 people to above 50 in three years, until one day he was asked by his management to take an onsite role for a new client. While his current role required him to manage a large team, the new role would require him to be an individual contributor.
As natural, he was really upset, and all sorts of thoughts was going in his mind. Am I being a victim of favoritism of my boss? Am I not required anymore? Is this a signal for me to start looking out for new job? Should I take-up the onsite role or decline it? Will I be able to cope up with this change? After being used to managing work, would I feel comfortable in this new individual role?
As the time passed, A found himself even more confused amidst this whirlpool of thoughts. Then, he started penning down all his thoughts about this matter to see what was his fear which was causing his resistance to this situation. He found that he was fearful of loosing the security of a large team, and was fearful of being vulnerable in the new situation. This further fueled his fear of loosing his job. He further found that even this fear was caused by his non-acceptance for being rejected in his job.
Next, he gave himself 3 hours of complete solitude, when he made himself feel as if he was asked to leave the job. He faced straight in the eyes of his deepest fear concerning the current situation and actually lived his fear.
After the end of these 3 hours, he found himself much stronger internally about this situation. Suddenly, the situation that was bothering him so much, had become a life-as-usual for him. He was mentally prepared to accept this change.
Eventually, he accepted the new role and after an year found himself excelling even in that role. His reputation at work and his relations with client grew immensely, and it turned out to be a God-sent opportunity and a turning point in his professional career.
In retrospect, A thought that had he not looked at his fear in eyes that day, he might still have to accept the new role, but he would have accepted it grudgingly. His overall experience of this turning point in his career would not have been a pleasant one in that situation.
Accepting the changes in life with gratitude makes our overall life experience effortless. Non-acceptance make our life miserable, without giving us much control over the changes in life.